It seems fitting today to shout out to all the good men out there who are determined, dedicated fathers.
You get taken for granted day after day.
You have loved and forgiven, again and again. And again.
You’ve been tested to your limits by mood-swinging (or maybe just swinging) partners. And sometimes beyond.
When they abandoned you, you kept the channels open.
No deadbeat dad, you. You paid out, and still are.
Fear is really just a chronic disease that we’re all afflicted with.
Potentially, but not necessarily, fatal. No cure, but plenty of treatment for the symptoms. You can develop terrific coping strategies, if you listen to the right specialists and advisors.
(Hint: That might mean ditching your current specialists in favour of new ones.)
Lots and lots of change.
More of it, and getting faster.
You can try to hide from it. Run from it. Resist it. Fight it. Scream at it.
Driving into the office most mornings lately, I’ve had Diana Krall’s The Girl in the Other Room on the CD player, playing over and over.
The CD was a birthday gift from my wife, not long after we’d heard her perform one Saturday night on Michael Parkinson. (Diana Krall perform, that is. Not my wife.)
I cannot figure out what draws me to it. I can’t quit playing it.
I wonder to what extent Yahweh (or the Great Divine Being, or Whatever Else You Like To Call Him) redistributes illnesses amongst his loyal subjects according to their needs?
I suffer from (!!!!) pretty good general health. I get maybe one or two cold/flu bugs a year, lasting maybe 3 days each. And then I’m right as rain.
My wife and my kids, on the other hand, seem to get far more than their fair share, comparatively speaking.
But this year? Continue reading
1. “I’ll just be happy to survive.”
No you won’t.
You might decide you’re going to settle for just surviving.
But will you be happy in that state of affairs? Nope.
2. ” I feel enough love in my life. Don’t need any more, thanks.”
I’ve never met anybody who feels over-loved.
Smothered, sure. But over-loved? Never.
What goes through your mind a split second after you’ve started down a ski jump for the first time?
Sitting there, terrified. Terrified of going down, but equally terrified of the embarassment you’ll face if you chicken out.
So you sit there, for a few minutes, heart racing, sweat trickling.
When I’ve been in situations similar to that before, a part of my brain seems to exit my body, and stand beside me. Looking at me. Assessing the agony.
Before long, the Me That Is Outside Me says, almost under his breath:
Holy cow. He’s . . . . . he’s . . . . . going to do it . . . . .
Ever since the Beijing Olympics opening ceremonies, the British media has forced the nation to engage in the usual paranoid soul-searching and self-doubt to which the British are addicted. We’ll never be able to match that. We do not have that kind of resources. What are we going to do?
So watching the opening ceremonies of the London Olympics was as educational as it was entertaining. The lessons to take away are almost obvious:
1. Never compare yourself with someone else. Continue reading
As a kid growing up in Québec, I was always intrigued (and perplexed) by news stories about native Canadians protesting over what they saw as improper use of land they claimed as their ancestral burial site.”What’s the big deal?” I would think. “It’s only land! Your ancestors are all dead, aren’t they?”
Then in 1997, I found a glimmer of understanding.
I uprooted (or as one of my teenagers suggests, repotted) the family from Guelph, Ontario, where we’d spent eight happy years, and settled in Bristol, England.
It was supposed to be for one year. Continue reading
A group of people that willingly interrupt each other, and permit themselves to be interrupted, at any time, for any reason!
Not universally true, of course, but if you’re in a healthy family, you’ll recognize its accuracy.
No frustration, no joy.